Hard Day Today

My problems are so much less significant than about 6 million other people (that's an underestimate I'm guessing), but still, today is rough.


I'm sick of not seeing my boyfriend. I hate sleeping alone. I'm tired of never having the same hours to sleep every night. I'm tired of having to watch every single penny I spend. I'm sick of not finding a job that fits my qualifications. I'm tired of being unhappy with my body. I miss my family and friends. I'm tired of constantly cleaning just to keep myself occupied. I'm sick of being scared about finding a real job. I'm tired of not having enough money to fix my car. I'm tired of killing ants in our fucking apartment. I'm tired of having to be the optimistic one in the relationship (I know, oh how contradictory I am being right now).

I'm tired of seeing tits on T.V., on the internet, in movies, on the street, and etc. Seriously girls, why be such skanks? Food for thought: most guys want to look at/fuck/get a lap dance with the stripper--but guess how many actually wants to date them. I'm going to go with about 5% of guys. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned.

Another thing (since I seem to just be ranting, rambling, and raving today), I truly believe that going to a strip club is cheating. Seriously, think about it. In what other circumstance is it ok for a girl/guy to be naked and shake their shit around for you? If it was in your living room with just the two people wouldn't that be cheating? Why does going to a strip club make it ok? Or going to a wet t-shirt contest? It's the same concept. Unless you are the kind of person that has an open relationship (aka swingers), then going to a strip club would constitute as cheating.

I know that I've become a lot more uptight with my growing years, but I think it's mainly because I'm not so naive anymore. It's soooo easy for people to get caught up in tempting things and situations that would really hurt themselves or their partner or both. Why tempt yourself? Why make it even harder? In a world with so many options and choices, sometimes the best thing to do is limit your options and practice self-control.

I'm a huge believer in monogamy and I only want to get married once. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that my forever relationship is smooth and amazing and most of all, lasting. Ok. Done ranting.